MonkeyPants

West Coast Day

7:30 am: Gym. Meet Em. Work hard, turn pink. Smell pits. Euugh.

8:30 am: Cafe. Drink coffee with Em, chat about how plus-sized clothes don’t meet the needs of plus-sized women. They need to factor in bigger boobage.

9:15 am: Em’s house. Pull blackberry runners and morning glories out of Em’s garden. Give the cat some catnip. Bask in the sun.

10:30 am: Call Telus to give them the new account number for the woman who bought my phone. Get told it’s she who has to call. Roll eyes.

10:32 am: Call woman with phone. Explain. Remind her to double-check addresses, as the person she is talking to is in a call center in Calgary.

11 am: Home. Shower, touch base with E, etc.

12: 30 pm: Go out to pay Cooperative Auto Network bill. Flash pass at driver. Realise it’s August now. Ask to be let off bus. Driver says, “Don’t worry, you can get it next time.” Cool. Watch Beautiful People getting melanomas at Kits Beach. Worry. Did I put on sunscreen? I did. Good.

1 pm: CAN office. Compliment Karen, the CAN car receptionist and troubleshooter, on looking great in the Pride Parade. Discover they’ve been charging me for the higher use rate plan, even though I haven’t used the car much, since February, so I’ve got a fifty dollar credit! Sweet! Then she says to help myself to the Core Passbook, which is full of coupons for health and wellness places. I choose one for Dahn Energy training because I know nothing about it.

1:18 pm: Courthouse. Tell the “Free Marc Emory” protesters they’re doing a good job. Offer to get them some water or something, as it’s a warm day and they’ve been standing a while. They say no thanks, so I continue on.

2:20 pm: Home. Turn on the computer.

3:00 pm: Promise an online friend I will write her a country song called “Waggle His Thang”.

4:30 pm: Work. Do some grammar and vocab and stuff. Think of possible rhymes for ‘Booty”.

6:50 pm: UBC. Consume sandwich dinner whilst power-walking to tutoring students’ house. Sidestep revving, decked-out Mitsubishi Eclipse with a Hello Kitty dangling from the mirror.

7:45pm: Hampton Court. Turn simple English conjugations into cheerleading phrases. Realise I like the same movies as my 11-year-old Korean student. Also, explain that an eleven-year-old Korean boy looks silly yelling, “Go, mama, I’m yo’ bad boy.” Feel bad, then realise it’s for the good of society.

9:03 pm: Try to explain how ‘Pocohontas’ the Disney movie was not like the historical figure to 14-year-old Korean student. (Previous student’s older sister). Discuss Human nature and suffering, beauty theory, and plastic surgery. Explain that beauty is not a racial thing or a size thing to a girl who thinks only European supermodels are beautiful. Marvel inwardly at my apparent calm. Reinforce the instruction not to pet wild animals.

10:50 pm: Step aside so a raccoon can come out of my front gate before I go in.

All in all, kind of a cool day.