MonkeyPants

Fright Night!

Hello, mine-and Kelly’s joint Birthday jaunt! We decided to go to Playland’s Halllowe’en fiesta, where they bring out the Haunted Houses and there are live guys in robes and werewolf masks scaring little girls on the midway. (Fun to watch-they explode out from their little circle like TNA-clad, shrieking popcorn. So cute!)

It was damned fun! Okay, so it was pouring with rain, but Em brought dollar-store rain jackets for us ladies, who got over the geeky factor enough to put them on and stay sort of dry. Kel and I only did up the neck snap though, in the interest of billowing a bit. Yeah, kind of like superheroes. Damp superheroes.

We lined up for one of the Haunted Houses, and went through. It was really fun, and not scary at all! We went faster than we thought we would. I later found out that this was because Kelly had wrapped her arms around Curtis’s waist and was propelling him bodily forward, whilst emitting a sort of intermittent squeak. I didn’t have time to be scared, and also, I was with E, who is apparently too big to scare, according to the Simulated Ghoul Union. Someone jumped out at us kind of half-heartedly, but E bellowed back, and that was the end of that.

We went on the Crazy Beach Party, which I had been assured by one of my students, was the best fun ever. He’s eight, so I was rather shocked when I saw this giant, oscillating, swinging thing. But I was persuaded to go. Only E was too tall to go on (WTF?) and so instead of the soothing presence of my man beside me, I had the distinct impression of wind whistling through a desolate crack in the press of bodies as the machine hurled us around. It wasn’t that scary with my eyes closed. I thought of how sailors in a storm get pitched around, and their ship wasn’t checked daily to make sure it was safe, and they might die and their bodies never be found, and I felt much better.

E and I went through the Haunted Maze, which my hairdresser had warned me was actually pretty scary. She’d heard about it on the radio. Not scary with E, can I just say. We actually watched one gaggle of teenage girls get freaked out by a guy in a mask. One got so worked up, she ran at him, shrieking, and he was forced to retreat. The first guy who surprised us, E Booed right back. No one surprised us after that. It was like something went up on the Simulated Ghoul Telegraph or something. I think the scariest thing was when we encountered a group of 14-year-olds smoking pot in the middle of the maze. I always worry when I see young kids smoking pot. I only hope they didn’t buy it from someone who laced it with something.

The Coaster lineup was way too long, so onto the bus with fellow wet Fright Nighters, and now home safe, with wet clothes in the laundry and a glass of wine in hand.