Get Your Schadenfreude Here!

Schadenfreude: (N) The pleasant feeling you get when someone else is having difficulties that you aren’t.

Here you go. Feel better about your life because you didn’t have my evening.

This afternoon, I decided to make biscuits. I preheated the oven and went about putting ingredients together. Before I could even reach for the butter, I was aware of a distinct smell coming from the oven.

I sniffed and I sniffed. At first, it smelled like plastic. Then it smelled like hot urine. Not human urine, but urine, nonetheless. it became really, really pungent, really , really quickly. Hastily, I turned the oven off and aired out the house. I made griddle biscuits, which were ok, but not fabulous.

I ruminated on our recent mouse problem. Didn’t want to think it, but could I have cooked a mouse? Some mouse poop? Eww!

This evening, I called Gen, as I am wont to call a friend in times of extremity, confusion, or just because I don’t want to do something. We chatted for awhile, and then, puttering, I pulled open the cupboard under the sink. There was a mouse perched on the garbage! I think I made a mouselike noise of my own and watched the damned thing leap off the garbage can and scurry under the oven.

Now here was a real quandary. Should I clean the oven now that I knew there were mice under it?

I did not. I did what everyone in their right mind would do. I called Eric and had a glass of wine. He told me he was coming home, stat, to help with the probelm.

Then I told myself to get over it and went to take the oven racks out of the oven.

I opened the oven and… there was a mouse sitting, looking at me, in the oven!

I yelled at it awhile about the indececy of its and its bretherens’ actions. It got tired and squeezed under the grill rack in the oven. Seriously, it was like it stayed to see what I had to say, and then wandered away. I was pissed off.

Eric came home. We cleaned the oven, cleaned under the stove-top and did what we could under the stove itself. But we can’t move it all the way because it’s a gas stove and we can’t turn off the gas line.

Then we turned the heat on again.

The smell is still there.


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