MonkeyPants

Some Cars: An Amateur’s Guide.

I had a very steep learning curve yesterday.

Given the fact that all I knew about my job was that it entailed driving a lot of cars around, I think I didn’t come off as too stupid, too often. I hope, anyway.

I drove a lot of cars. Here’s what I can say about them.

Mini Cooper: This car has no suspension. Apparently it is cool to arrive at your destination rattled and jiggly. The dashboard is pretty, but confusing to the eye. I had to stare for thirty seconds to determine what the gas gauge was.

MPV: No branding can disguise the fact that it is a mini van. I thought I heard the echoes of the soccer team as I drove it. Seats remind me of my grandpa’s La-Z-Boy.

Toyota Matrix: Kind of cool, comfortable to drive, and less wimpy than I expected. Easy stereo controls.

Pontiac Sunfire: Feels cheap and plasticky. Engine may be powered by tired gerbils. Stereo also weak.

Toyota Corolla: Handles like a Buick, or what I remember a Buick handles like. The best stereo of all of them. Good bass.

I’m eager to see what I drive next.