MonkeyPants

Nasty Squad.

I wasn’t there at the time, but apparently Alex came back from someplace. A job, or maybe school, or I seem to recall he had family up in Williams Lake or something. Whatever. The story goes that Daymon phoned Cory and said, “Nasty Squad is back.” Cory phoned Todd and passed it along.

It was an artificial construct at best. Nasty Squad viewed themselves in a mirror of their own construction, but there was too much testosterone competition, and not enough agreement on what ‘manly’ was.

They would go to restaurants and fight over who ate the biggest steak. Go to clubs and bars and fight over who could tip the waitress the most. Argue about pointless stuff.

Daymon had a girlfriend who was trying to make it in Theatre. She was in Hong Kong for a couple of months in a supporting role in Phantom. When she was home, she dragged him on epic shopping trips that he pretended to suffer from, but actually loved.

Cory was always in love with Kat, his high school girlfriend. No other girl was as artificial or manipulative or confused, and therefore not as sexy. It was tiring to be a girl around Cory.

Alex tried hard, but there was nothing really hardcore about him. He just spent a lot of money and told us about it.

Todd had an endless supply of drug dealer and user stories. It was actually quite unsettling, since he believed he’d already experienced the most exciting things in life. He looked at the future with resignation.

I was privy to their relationships. I was there on their steak dates. I was there when they ogled the waitresses. Don’t ask me why.

Their construct fell apart later than you’d expect. Finally, their disinterest overrode their loyalty. What they thought was solid was ephemeral, and there was nothing they could do about it.

Finally, their posing was nothing, and they parted ways. But not before giving me a cynic’s view of posturing male relationships and an impatience for them.