Friendship History

In Els’s awesome van tonight, my friends were discussing the kinds of friendships their children have. Since I am child-free, mildly high on cold meds, and sleep-deprived, my brain naturally gravitated towards my own friendships. And, hey, friends, based on my experience, your children will grow and change and be different kinds of friends for different people.

See, I have been friends and been in different kinds of friendships with a whack of different people. I’ve had several best friends, at different times.

I’ve been The Leader, especially early in life. I was the kid who would try how high to climb and how far to range. Mostly, I was fearless.

I’ve been The Sidekick. Best friend was stronger/more attractive to boys/a better all-around student. My role was to be less attractive and to be a source of sound advice. Although, sometimes that was advice to the boys: My friend doesn’t appreciate you. Walk on.

I’ve been The Scapegoat. Briefly. Insulting me for no reason is a good way to lose me as a friend.

I’ve been The Sage. Sometimes even now I am The Sage, but I try to avoid it. I don’t know everything. I don’t want to.

I stopped having to act in Friend Roles in First Year of University. The close friends I made in University have held strong, mostly, for more than 15 years. With these friends, I don’t have a role. I am just me. And that rules.

The unexpected happened when I met E. I still have the best friends from university, and I can be me with them, but now I have E. He doesn’t complete me, because I am not a half a person. He makes me more than I would be otherwise.

He is my first thought in the morning and my last thought at night. I have a lot of best friends, but he’s the one I think of first and last and always.

Apologies for the mush.

3 Comments to “Friendship History”

  1. By Arwen, June 9, 2010 @ 10:28 pm

    Awww. No mush apologies!

  2. By rachel, June 10, 2010 @ 8:36 am

    That’s right! We’re the friends with whom you can be yourself! And sometimes yourself is mushy! It’s totally fine! We only mock you a little bit, and I, for one, have always suspected you like it!

  3. By Liz, June 10, 2010 @ 9:26 am

    I feel the need to apologize for the mush. Which is stupid, because Rachel’s right. Sometimes I am mushy. (And I kind of do like the mocking, so that’s ok too.)

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