Crows.

“How come there’s nothing on the Internet about training crows?” I asked E the other night.
He looked over at me. “...train crows?”
“Yeah. To, you know, do stuff. They’re smart.”

He had no answer.

I did find the video of the guy who made the crow vending machine, but how about just training them not to be alarmed when I walk past. I pose no threat, crows. I’m going to the bus. I’m going to the store. I’m going to a car. I am not out to hurt you.

The thing is, it’s doable. Corvids are smart. Crows talk to one another. They communicate learned knowledge to each other and down the generations. They have that massive crow meet out at the McDonald’s head office near Willingdon every night, with acres of grass covered in crows.

There’s got to be some way to train them. Just because. I mean, how cool? Or maybe I should just build a crow vending machine in the backyard and rake in other people’s lost change.

8 Comments to “Crows.”

  1. By rachel, October 4, 2010 @ 9:51 pm

    It would probably help to start with a young one. I’m sure some variation on a dog-training method would work, and easily, because crows are way smarter than dogs. At least, smarter than my dog, bless her wee pea brain.

    How you GET a young one is anybody’s guess. The one time I was ever near a crow’s nest I got SWOOPED upon. Hardcore, kamikaze swooping. Swooping is bad.

  2. By Liz, October 4, 2010 @ 10:23 pm

    See, that’s part of the problem. The crows aren’t particularly willing to let me near their adult selves, let alone their offspring. I’m thinking that if I can win over mature crows, they might teach their children that I am trustable, and thus, I could build some kind of a bond.

  3. By Beth, October 5, 2010 @ 8:44 pm

    He explained pretty clearly how to do it. Of course, you’ll need a big supply of peanuts, of coins (at least until they’re trained) and you have to know someone who can actually build a vending machine. But once you’ve got those covered, you’re good to go, right?

  4. By Liz, October 5, 2010 @ 9:48 pm

    The question that arises is: How much would my landlord hate me for setting up a crow vending machine? Also, wo9uld it make the crows more comfortable with me?

  5. By Stephanie, October 5, 2010 @ 10:55 pm

    I would absolutely like to be a part of anything involving training crows.

  6. By Arwen, October 6, 2010 @ 9:26 am

    I wonder, if you trained a young crow on how to work a vending machine, would it grow older and teach its babies? Three generations later, it catches on – and you’re the new Willingdon Rookery?

  7. By Liz, October 6, 2010 @ 10:38 am

    That’s the thing. Do I really want to be a meeting point for a thousand crows? That could be off-putting to friends and family, I think.

    Stephanie, isn’t it a cool thing to think about?

  8. By Beth, October 7, 2010 @ 11:00 am

    You don’t have to build it in your backyard. He built his somewhere out in the country. Of course, that requires regular drives to the country – besides all the other junk.
    Only worth doing if you’re working on a PhD thesis I’m thinking.

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