Bad Choices and Star Wars

Okay. I brought it all on myself. I wish I could have been wildly proactive and simply catapulted my way out of the situation, but I didn’t, so here I am. I made all bad choices today.

This morning at the gym, our lovely new gym friend Tracy spots why no amount of Pilates abwork makes me hurt:My legs bend slightly as I go to bring my legs in from a stretching move: I’m using my back for all those moves. So I do a bunch of them again, and gosh darn, can I feel my abs now! OW! I guess I shouldn’t have tried to tough it out so much, huh?

I was supposed to go to the PNE with Gen and was totally psyched about that, but Gen calls and says she has to go to the doctor, because she has an earache and a sore throat. Plus she has to feed her boyf’s cats and fish. No problem, I said I’ll wait til she comes out of the doctor’s to make sure we’re still on.

But do I spend the intervening three hours wisely? No. I go on the internet. I make a sandwich. I do some desultory weed-pulling in the garden. But really, I’m mostly on the internet. Not even for my own betterment. I have conversations about what would happen if the British tried to re-colonize North America and give my opinion on some balloon animals. Not useful. I almost apply for a writing job and then realize it is, in all likelihood, an essay mill. Can’t do that, even if I’d love to write essays for money.

Gen calls, but she is dizzy and nauseated, so we’re not going to the PNE. We’ll get there eventually. Notice how a smart person would have changed her plans in a proactive and dynamic way to embrace the possibilities of the free day? Yeah. Not me. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do.

To console me, E takes me out for gelato. I figure I’ll be be exciting and get something other than lemon or hedgehog, my standby flavours, and I try white chocolate cheesecake with raspberries. Sounds good, right? Sounds like I really went for it. But no.

Hey, gelato-making people! White chocolate cheesecake with raspberries tastes like vanilla with barely discernable streaks of raspberry. Put in more cheesecake, or at least some. And more raspberries, ok? I said it was delicious and ate it with all evidence of enjoyment, but, really, it was just a (very good, but) vanilla cone. Cnuts.

So I’m up a few hundred calories without any kind of orgasm-inducing flavour revelation. Good call, me.

Rented “Cheaper by the Dozen” last night. I know, I know. Again with the choices. But I watched it with E this afternoon. It was cute, but, yes, I felt I could have spent my time better. Even though I sewed throughout the movie.

E went to work. I thought, hmm, what about spending the evening on the couch reading? No dice. I have approximately 350 close, personal favourites here, but I can’t bring myself to get into them because I chose to (again with the bad choices) read all the really high level books for my employer, so that I can mark the book reports about those books. Well, it’s fantastic that they chose from ALA notables and Caldecott winners, but each book is damned tedious! Okay, “The Rosa Parks Story” was rather uplifiting, as was “Sojourner Truth”, a story about a woman who escaped from slavery to speak out against it. But my choices this week,( see, choices again), are terrible and I don’t care at all about whether or not anything happens in them! I’m sorry if someone said the author wrote with “sparse poeticism” (What?) It bores me and it will bore the little Korean kids you’re trying to make care about American culture.

They don’t care, see? They’re going back to Korea in 1-3 years. Rosa Parks has an important lesson for all of us to learn, but these people come from a country where some of their grandmothers were imprisoned in brothels for years for Japanese soldiers. They were called “Comfort women” and they were raped day after day for years on end because one group of people from one place thought they were better than another group of people from another place.

Yes, there are parallels to blacks and whites in the US, but these kids are mostly too young and overworked to be able to appreciate the similarities. So shut up with the adult-chosen “Subtle, wise, complex—superb!” books. How about some fun for these benighted little studyaholics?

Okay, so, after deciding not to read, I thought, hmm, what about dinner? How about some brie on baguette? That’s about right. There’s some brie in the freezer so I take it out and go out to find a baguette.

I check out our movie collection but the only thing I haven’t seen is Star Wars III (Revenge of the Sith? Return of the Sith?) Whatever. I know it’s going to be bad, but it’s on the network anyway, so I click on it and dig into my brie. At least if the movie’s on my laptop, I can browse Craigslist while I watch.

BUT - The brie has done that ammonia thing that brie does when it’s too old. You know, the actual cheese part is fine, but the surrounding (What is that, wax? Plastic? Super Spooge?) stuff has gone all ammonia-ey. I do the best I can to scoop out the brie, but it’s a bit of a lost cause.

The movie’s a lost cause as well.

Padme went from a guntotin’, danger-seekin’ adventure junkie to some passive little whiner who doesn’t have the sense to bitchslap her man before his eyes go all red and buggy and he commits forever to the forces of evil. Cnut.
-The guy playing Anakin still can’t act. His one convincing moment was when the dark mask slipped over his face and I heard the Darth Vader breath come out of the airholes or filter or whatever the hell makes him breathe that way.

Not enough Wookie action in the movie. Lots of screen time for that giant iguana thing Obi Wan is riding around on, but not enough Wookies for my taste. Perhaps Wookies are just too cool and couldn’t commit to a big part in such a crap movie? I don’t know. Maybe today’s moviegoer is unable to interpret Wookiespeak from tone and body language and so the Wookies were deemed not as big a box-office draw as could be. Fuck that shit. I totally understood what Chewie was saying all the time, and I don’t speak a lick of Wookie!

-But Obi Wan was lovely, Ewan MacGregor is a fine, fine actor and really did make me think of Alec Guinness. Excellent studying of videos, Ewan. Plus, I saw “The Pillow Book.” I know you have a big Jedi dick.

-Also, Yoda unleashing his extreme Jedi powers was pretty good. Anyone know what species he actually is? I’m not usually into ancient short green guys with big ears and convoluted syntax, but Yoda had it going on!

I’m still awake, and have still plenty of bad choices to make. I think I might go up to the local watering hole and make some bad choices there. Excellent!

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