Fricketty Frack.

So I’d been having a kind of itchy, weepy left eye when I woke up in the mornings. Yesterday I woke up to the most horrific crusties and-ta daaa! Pinkeye!

Never thwarted, I hied myself to the pharmacy and got some Polysporin eye drops, which are the cure for bacterial pinkeye.

I’ve been using them for 24 hours and there’s no difference. Today I started getting a light headache, you know when your eyes can’t close enough for the light? Add to that the fact that I have been tireder than Tired McTired of the Clan McTired over the past week, and what do you have?

Utter terror that I may be having a sarcoid relapse.

OK, not terror because there are certainly worse things that could happen to a person. But let’s look at the things I’ll have to endure as they cure me, that I don’t need right now:

1. The eye relaxer drops. You know, the ones you get when you have an eye exam? They need to give them to people with sarcoidosis in the eyes, because what’s happening is the pupils of the eyes are trying to contract past the point of contractability. As a result, you get muscle spasms in your eyes. Yes, this can happen. They’re quite painful, and the only solution is the eye relaxers, which make your already light-sensitive eyes even more sensitive. Plus, you have no focal ability or depth perception. I spent the summer of 1999 falling off curbs and walking into things, because I had no idea where my body was, within the space around me.

2. Sure, the drops are a pain, but I also don’t want the extreme sensitivity to light. Seeing as we’re coming into summer hours, and there will be more light around, I don’t want to have to sit in a darkened room, reading large-print books and being unable to look at a TV or computer screen.

3. The lack of focal ability creates a kind of low grade nausea, because you can’t tell where anything is. I imagine it’s kind of like being on mushrooms. With no respite. For three months.

4. The steroids. They cure you with steroids. Massive doses. Doses that make your waist thicken and encourage your cortisol levels to fly through the roof. Yes. And when the topically-applied steroids didn’t work fast enough, last time, they (TMI ALERT) stuck a needle full of steroids into my eye itself!

Please send my any good vibes going. I do NOT need a relapse. On the other hand, won’t I be interesting? Apparently, this specific set of symptoms is exciting for doctors. There must be a new crop of interns at the eye clinic that should see this, huh?

10 Comments to “Fricketty Frack.”

  1. By cheesefairy, April 12, 2006 @ 11:13 am

    god, that sounds awful. here’s wishing you a normal case of pink eye that is merely polysporin drop-resistent and requires a prescription of super-polysporin.

    (within the context of this entry, I’m sure you can see that this constitutes actual good wishes. I would never wish anyone pink eye. well, maybe a couple of people at work and Stephen Harper.)

  2. By Liz, April 12, 2006 @ 1:03 pm

    If Stephen Harper got pinkeye, maybe more people would recognize him for the demon he is.

    I have something called Ofloxacin from the doctor, and have been advised to administer it every two to four hours. Hooray! Clear eyes are in sight!

  3. By Carol, April 12, 2006 @ 3:57 pm

    Yikes. I’m sending good eye karma from the US. (And if it is pinkeye, would you mind popping down and giving good ol’ W a big ol’ eskimo kiss?)

  4. By Carol, April 12, 2006 @ 3:58 pm

    Hmmm. No. That’s not right. I was mistaken. Eskimo kisses are when you rub noses. That won’t do. You’ll have to give him a butterfly kiss. That’s the eyelash fluttering one.

  5. By Liz, April 12, 2006 @ 10:13 pm

    Carol, I’d love to give W a butterfly kiss. THAT would be funny.

  6. By Arwen, April 13, 2006 @ 12:35 am

    Oh, Liz. So frightening. But I bet the super extra strength drops will do it: I had two unkillable by Polysporin pink eyes in a row last year, and my eyes were bleeding. The doctor gave a squeak of disgust.

    So there’s something out there that’s resistant to ye old Polysporin. Also, polysporin eye drops that touch your eye or lash or finger with the bad bugs on it can actually end up re-infecting you every time you dose. Yuck.

  7. By Liz, April 13, 2006 @ 10:24 am

    Arwen, I sure hope they do it. There’s no change this morning, except that th right eye now very definitely is pink. No blood, yet, though. Urrgh, poor you!

  8. By Arwen, April 18, 2006 @ 11:11 pm

    Liz: Any news?

  9. By Liz, April 18, 2006 @ 11:43 pm

    Arwen, I’m almost cleared up. I am anticipating being able to buy and wear new mascara on Friday. Hooray!

  10. By Pomodoro, April 21, 2006 @ 7:37 am

    Holy crap is that a relief!! New anything that may have touched you eye, love. That includes eyeliner and brushes!
    I’m so with Cheesefairy, yay for pink eye!

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