Taxes: A series of Haiku.

Oh God. Tax time looms.
I’ll think about something else.
Maybe I’ll be fine.

April Twenty-seventh.
Shit. I have to do this now.
Guts cramp in terror.

The very next day
I go to the Post Office.
Get two packages.

Friday. I can’t add.
I should clean the bathroom now.
Maybe pet the cat.

Saturday cocktails.
I should be doing taxes,
But drinks are more fun.

Sunday. Deadline dooms.
Come home and collect papers.
Christ! Where’s a pencil?

Third time adding sums.
Numbers always different.
My shoulders hunch up.

God, the numbers twitch.
I’m stupid. This is why I
Got two packages.

First package is gone.
Ripped to shreds in frustration.
Math shreds my ego.

Second package. Breathe.
Slow and easy. I will
Conquer my return.

8 Comments to “Taxes: A series of Haiku.”

  1. By Arwen, May 1, 2006 @ 11:18 am

    Heh. This looks like extremely witty procrastination…

    I use on online service for, like, $15 bucks a pop that EFiles; the computer does the math. I just fill in boxes. I highly recommend such a thing for next year.

  2. By Liz, May 1, 2006 @ 11:38 am

    Thanks. I shoulda thought of that. I am pants at math.

  3. By gen, May 1, 2006 @ 6:18 pm

    Or you could just ask me. I like doing taxes. I know, I know it’s alarmingly close to crossing the line into sick and twisted. I think part of the reason is that no one really thinks of me as a numbers/business person and yet I really am.

    I am also anal about taxes. I hate it when I have to wait for T4s because they haven’t been sent out yet. Within a week of getting everything I sit down and do them. If mine aren’t done (and paid if neccessary) by the middle of March, I get antsy.

    This year I did Ryan’s and mine wearing PJs during Spring Break one morning. It wasn’t the most fun I had, but it was definately good times. (Especially as I was able to work out some payment plan from Ryan for said activity which was even more fun)

    There are times when I almost wonder if I should have gotten my CGA when it was offered to me.

  4. By Liz, May 1, 2006 @ 10:34 pm

    I might still ask you, Gen, if I keep coming up different totals.

  5. By Pomodoro, May 2, 2006 @ 9:19 pm

    Do we have to pay Gen the same way that Ryan did?

  6. By Liz, May 2, 2006 @ 9:59 pm

    I don’t think I have the right parts to do so. I love her to bits, but… 🙂

  7. By gen, May 3, 2006 @ 9:34 pm

    No – you all do not have to pay me the same way. In fact for you it is free. Besides, apparently now that I am engaged I am no longer allowed to take those types of payments from anybody but Ryan. He can be such a stick in the mud….

  8. By Queen of West Procrastination, May 10, 2006 @ 10:01 am

    And the moral of this story, when I read all these? “Why I bought Quicktax.”

    Actually, if your yearly income’s lower than a certain amount, you can use Quicktax online for free and Netfile through them. I mention this now, well after April 30. You’re welcome.

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