Guess What They’re Selling!

I’ve just come across the most astonishing advertising line I’ve seen in a while:

“Engage in a landmark of shimmering glass, sleek concrete, and reflective pools.”

What do you think they want you to buy?

14 Comments to “Guess What They’re Selling!”

  1. By cheesefairy, October 5, 2006 @ 12:16 pm

    Oooh, is it a Conversation on Health Care?

    (Or a half-million dollar 400 square foot condo, probably on a busy street and with Many Amenities)

  2. By cheesefairy, October 5, 2006 @ 12:18 pm

    ... and now I’m going to see the phrase “engage in” where it doesn’t belong, aren’t I? Like the rampant overuse of “speak to” where one speaks to something inanimate and incapable of responding. An issue, say, or the minutes of a meeting.

  3. By Liz, October 5, 2006 @ 1:01 pm

    Yes! Cheesefairy wins right out of the gate!

    They are selling “Innovative two-bedroom apartment residences in Burnaby that redefine the urban lifestyle.” At Lougheed and Beta Avenue.

    How are they redefining the urban lifestyle? By putting it next to a highway! And a mall! That’s right. These condos are redefining the urban ligestyle by being situated close to two of the hallmarks of Suburbia. Now that’s redefinition!

  4. By Arwen, October 5, 2006 @ 3:45 pm

    I would like to speak to engaging in this silliness.


    That is all.

  5. By Liz, October 5, 2006 @ 11:30 pm

    Fabulous, Arwen! An almost content-free sentence, unless we put it through a jargon filter.

    Reminds me of a friend of mine who used to do Politi-speak. We’d get him stoned and tell him to sell an issue, and then time how long it took before he actually said anything that made any kind of sense to us. Sometimes he went on for several mintues.

  6. By cheesefairy, October 6, 2006 @ 7:46 am

    is it OMA II? their marketing whatnot is fantastic. a few years ago I came across the bumpf for OMA & dissected it –… and now I discover there’s a SEQUEL this week just keeps getting better and better!

  7. By cheesefairy, October 6, 2006 @ 7:47 am

    ha ha ha I just noticed that in my first paragraph in that old blog entry from 2004 I use the phrase “speak to.” Oh is my face red.

  8. By Liz, October 6, 2006 @ 11:03 am

    Cheesefairy, that is an alarming site.Plus ‘OMA’ confused me. Isn’t that German for grandmother?

    The building I saw being advertised is a Polygon thing called Watercolours. You know, because it’s so close to the water and all…

    As for the ‘speak to’ thing, you must have been being ironic. Or it was Stockholm Syndrome, as you were a captive of the BC government, weren’t you?

  9. By Saint Aardvark, October 6, 2006 @ 9:24 pm

    Captive of Pria Ramu, more like. We have pictures of her everywhere. Won’t you please lend a hand?

  10. By Liz, October 6, 2006 @ 10:01 pm

    Hang on, SA, help is on the way!

  11. By Pam, October 8, 2006 @ 9:11 am

    Liz, on (another!) autobiographical note, I’m an old Vancouverite. And I live in Edmonton in part so I can afford to “live urban.”

    Good critique of this whitewash/hogwash. “Density” is the buzzword these days in the alt-weeklies. (That’s Slog, companion to Seattle’s The Stranger)

    FWIW I like what Arwen has to say about housing too. YGG!

  12. By Liz, October 9, 2006 @ 11:49 pm

    Pam, those are interesting articles on sprawl and isolation. Could we hypothesize that suburban sprawl engages a kind of isolation? I’m thinking the ‘Keeping up with the Joneses’ mentality might lead a couple (or family) to shy away from neighbours, as opposed to creating or engaging a community?

  13. By Pam, October 12, 2006 @ 11:30 pm

    Ok there’s a whole blog entry in this, but hey…

    The weird thing is that outside Stuart McLean’s slippery-Vinyl-Cafe-slope, community is fully dead. Livin’-dense city folks are the first to admit that they do not care to know their neighbours. But thinkers like Jane Jacobs (and maybe Dan Burden) knew that density is the most livable.

  14. By Liz, October 13, 2006 @ 12:21 am

    Maybe I’m not living in a dense enough situation to reject community. If I know my upstairs neighbour is working till 11 and I hear someone in his apartment at 10, I go and have a look. But maybe this is just nosiness on my part. Or possibly my reaction to living in a (largely) well-off community where, having lived here for three and a half years, I am a relative newcomer.

    You’re right. This deserves a whole blog entry. Watch this blog.

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