God Damn Real Life.

I’m supposed to be writing a book. So of course I noticed mould growing in my bedroom, down near the baseboards, when I was vaccuuming last night, and had to bleach the living hell out of it. And then take a big suck on my inhaler, because mold + bleach = asthma. Yes, we are all so sexy over here.

And then, of course I was woken up this morning by my landlady, calling from Florida. The roof is leaking again, and the guy upstairs is going to Vegas today. So I had to call around and find someone who will come over and put a tarp over our house until the landlady gets home. And then I’ll be on Bucket Check Duty upstairs.

And of course I noticed that the guy upstairs has ‘tasteful’ nudie shots of some woman (Random? Fuck buddy? Girlfriend? I can’t think of a polite way to ask) on his screensaver, which I totally wouldn’t have expected of him.

Oh, and then, there’s the ‘I haven’t got a plot, do I?’ worry. Meh. I’ll just keep introducing surprises until it’s time to wrap it up in the pyrotechnic style of which I’m sure I’ll suddenly become capable.

Ok. Whinge over.

3 Comments to “God Damn Real Life.”

  1. By Arwen, November 16, 2006 @ 2:30 pm

    Aww. That’s no fun.

    I really think we all need to phone Holmes on Homes. Everybody. All the time. Just because having him rip thru walls and swear is awesome.

    BTW: Watching Holmes on Homes means that I will never, ever, ever trust a contractor. That means that when we DO have a home, I’ll be standing over every sad tradesperson trying to go about his or her business with Wiki open on my handy laptop. “It says you need the vapour barrier on the WARM side!” I’ll bellow; at which point the contractor will snap; “LADY? I am building a goddamned CABINET.”

    I’m having a hard time parsing the word ‘tasteful’. Nekkid Budwiser girl dressed as a candy striper suggestively licking ice cream tasteful? Black and Whites of nekkid woman staring mournfully towards the fjords tasteful? Nekkid woman unleashing her bowels on kitchen floors tasteful? I must know.

    Otherwise, it’s probably a tennis player. They’re all the rage in single-obsession nudity. g.

  2. By Pam, November 16, 2006 @ 3:13 pm

    lol

    That’s half a plot right there. Town rots away, neighbour’s screen saved by nude while in Vegas with another woman, downstairs writer faints from bleach fumes… (thickens!) ...before she finds out spycam photos of her on upstairs man’s Flickr page are just a drop in the bucket…

  3. By Liz, November 16, 2006 @ 10:49 pm

    Arwen, you are going to mock the afflicted: I’ve never seen Holmes on Homes.

    Also, the nudie shots? They appeared to be in colour, but so up-close as to lose context. The first one was a curve. Could have been a shoulder. The second one was two curves nestled: Side shot of a bum. Third shot: What appeared to be someone’s finger on a pink, wrinkled slug. Ta daa, Labia! Sorry you asked?

    Pam, I think I will incorporate some of those ideas. Thanks!

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