Sweet, Sweet Cable TV.

Our new place came with free cable TV. It was the first electronic thing E hooked up, and we both went a little crazy for a while.

The night we moved in, I was up until 2am watching a movie on cable. It was Quicksliver, a truly cringeworthy eighties film featuring a very young-looking Kevin Bacon, an absolutely gamine Jami Gertz, and (I saw the credit but not the man), “Larry” Fishburn. Why was I up until 2 watching this drivel? I couldn’t turn it off. I was a hypnotized yokel who just wandered into Paree. Oh, the shiny! Oh, the channels! Oh, the eighties synthesizer music montages with Kevin Bacon slowly regaining his trust in himself!

The next few days, our routine was the same: Wake up, turn on TV, shower and make coffee and tea. The TV was the background to our lives. Even the commercials were so cool. OMG! They have ads for tiny vibrators you can wear like rings! Right there on TV! I turned to E. “It’s like we got stuck in a time warp where we totally didn’t know about the advancements in marital aids!”

The novelty is now wearing off. Commercials are tedious. Home-hunters in Maryland do not have my attention. E has already seen every show he wants to on the Space Channel. Now that my books are unpacked, I care a lot less about old movies and synth montages.

Oooh, speaking of my books, I am a genius. There wasn’t enough wall-space for me to put up enough feet of bookcase to display them all, and I was perplexed. I was also perplexed by how to deal with the two-foot-high rail on many of our walls. Epiphanic result: Books displayed on exposed rails. Hey, I like to live with my books, right? Then I’ll make them part of the decor.

If I keep ignoring cable, I’m going to have a fantastic house in no time.

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