Would You Like a Multinational Conglomerate With That?

With cable TV come the ads. They are insidious, annoying, and often appear to assume I have the IQ of flypaper.

Today’s pet hate is the McDonald’s ad about Egg McMuffins. You know, there’s the little piano ditty and people keep seeing other people eating Egg McMuffins so they go get them? The one where the last scene is the fabulous vista over some remote European village and hills (Tuscany? Provence?). The McAdExecs want me to think, “Oh, look. Egg McMuffins unite humanity in happiness and satiety. How fab. I think I’ll eat one.”

Do I think this? I do not. This ad rouses my inner Angry Pinko. First of all, I do not believe that humanity can be happily united by an overprocessed breakfast product. North Americans, maybe I could believe it, but I know a lot of people who won’t eat McDonald’s food. But you’re in a tiny town in the South of France or the rolling hills of Tuscany and you eschew local bakeries, cheeses and produce in favour of an Egg McMuffin? No fricking way. If you find yourself in Provence, eating McRalph’s, you don’t deserve to be there.

Second, the people in the ad bug me. They’re predominantly slender. McDonald’s food will not keep you slender. It will bloat you like an ocean-borne corpse. Whether you bought into Supersize Me or not, you have to admit Mickey Dee’s packs a caloric, sodium-and-sugar-laden punch.

The actors all look middle-income as well. McDicks is misrepresenting their demographic. I think of my brother telling me that, in impoverished West Philadelphia where he lives, people eat MacDonald’s three times a day. They know nothing of nutrition. The cycle of poverty keeps them eating crap. These are people who can only dream of being middle-income earners.

Here’s what’s missing from the ad: Displaced, bewildered Amazon Rainforest tribespeople, poking the McMuffins in an attempt to find out what they are. In the background: Bulldozers knocking down the rainforest so that farming corporations can raise beef for more Big Macs.

7 Comments to “Would You Like a Multinational Conglomerate With That?”

  1. By Arwen, June 17, 2007 @ 12:48 pm

    Laughing very much.
    You know, ubiquotous ads do sort of numb me, and then there’s this unanalyzed input going in that my monkey brain is probably crediting way too much.

  2. By cheesefairy, June 17, 2007 @ 7:27 pm

    Have you hit CNN yet with Glenn Beck? I guarantee he will raise your blood pressure faster than a truckload of egg mcmuffins. (which my father-in-law calls Gut Bombs)

  3. By Liz, June 17, 2007 @ 8:04 pm

    Arwen, it’s the unexamined stuff that has my Inner Pinko worried. What if I wake up next week convinced that I am inadequate and will only be adequate with the right floor polish/mayonnaise/shoes?

    Haven’t been to CNN yet, Cheesefairy. I’m afraid that if I watch it without careful planning, I’ll end up quitting my job to sit in the darkened living room and mutter at the TV screen.

  4. By Beth, June 18, 2007 @ 10:09 pm

    I have eaten egg mcmuffins. The sausage mcmuffin is the one piece of micky – dee’s menu that I like. And I must admit, that seeing one, or thinking of one, makes me want one. So, when I saw that ad, I totally thought, “Yeah, it’s true.” Except for the guy who gets on a plane and then gets off on the other end and gets one. No way does the craving last the 12 hours it would take to fly to Europe. I agree about the Amazon rainforest and the lack of nutrition and the poverty and the obesity. I agree. But I see the ad and I think, “Yeah, that would taste good right now.” sigh I’ve been totally caught in the web.

  5. By Liz, June 19, 2007 @ 12:24 am

    Beth, here’s the thing: I’ve eaten them as well, and don’t dislike them. I just take umbrage at the tone of the ad that gives a “We’re all together in the great, McMuffin-loving boat” kind of feeling.

    They do look pretty good, but then you get this rapidly cooling mass, and the sausage tastes kind of chemical, and it’s just not worth it.

    We must fight the web of Mickey Dee’s.

  6. By cheesefairy, June 19, 2007 @ 1:00 pm

    I was a sausage mcmuff fan until I had the Tim Hortons breakfast sandwich. Tim’s wins.

    ...Not that I think the Tim’s web is so much better than the mickey d’s. Their insanely loyal coffee fans, for example. That ain’t right.

  7. By Liz, June 20, 2007 @ 12:10 am

    I like the Tim’s breakfasts as well. When my brother did his Master’s in Halifax, he came back a full-on Timmy’s convert. He asked for the coffee for Christmas and everything. It was a bit strange.

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