Fireworks Redux: The Bests.

Best place to watch ‘em: The Maritime Museum. Families, and not knife-wielding thugs with their pants hanging off their butts.

Best Firework: The hearts, with all of Vancouver going, “oOooohhh!”

Best reason to use birth control: Woman my age arguing with eight-year old son. She’s trying to control his full-blown orangutan tantrum and shrieking, “I swear to God , you are pissing me right the fuck off!”

Best failed pickup: We see a guy in his fifties half-lying down, cradled in the lap of a younger guy. Look closer, older man has blood on his face. Us: Do you need us to call someone? Younger guy: No, we’re okay, thanks. Older guy: (quite drunk, attempting to leer) I really need…a woman. A good woman. Us: Okay, then. (We leave)

Best Crowd Control Move: Police ATV cruises right through the middle of a 50- kid gaggle of teenagers clogging the sidewalk and spilling out into traffic. The group scatters. One lone numbskull kid tries to get on the back of the ATV. Moron. Follow-up officers on foot scare him away.

Best random observation: No garbage left on the beach. Not a scrap. Garbage teamsters, eat your hearts out.

Comments are closed.

Bad Behavior has blocked 1 access attempts in the last 7 days.


Warning: Use of undefined constant is_single - assumed 'is_single' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/gecko/public_html/liz/wp-content/plugins/wp-stattraq/stattraq.php on line 67