Heroes go Poof!

Why in God’s name are they canceling Heroes?

Okay, I know it’s because of the writer’s strike and all, but, really, people, this is an emergency of international proportions!

This is one of two shows I look forward to watching all week. I love the characters. I love the action. I love the fact that I gasp when I watch it. Yes, I am that sad. But apparently the studio execs are ‘re-evaluating their production commitments’. They’re canceling my favourite show.

The only thing I can think of is that some TV marketers have decided that they need to pave the way for more reality TV and other mind-numbing pap. I know some of you love reality TV, and that’s all well and good. I, however, do not. I want explosions and kissing and flying people. I want giant mutants. I want dragons and fairies. I do not want to watch people bitch each other out or compete for some prize or put bugs in their mouth and bungee jump off the Eiffel Tower. Unless I can do it at Cheesefairy’s house when she’s watching whatever the Tyra Banks show is, because I think that would be fun. But only because of the Fairy of Cheese. TV’s just not delivering for me these days.

I think I know the reason TV sucks. I have suspected it for a long time, but I am now forced to come to the conclusion that people are getting slowly stupider. We are devolving into giant sluglike creatures, lightly dusted with Cheeto powder, incapable of making even the most elementary of thought processes on our own (See Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader if you don’t believe me). We will be unable to express our emotions except by twitching our pallid, bloated fingers over the remote, unable to choose between Survivor MCMXII: Whatever and America’s Next Celebrity Plumber.

We’re in serious trouble. So, while humanity slides slowly into the toilet, what should I watch to distract myself?

5 Comments to “Heroes go Poof!”

  1. By rachel, November 29, 2007 @ 3:23 pm

    I feel that way about Firefly, only worse, because I didn’t even watch Firefly until it was out on DVD. I killed it! Waaaaah!

    You can borrow my Rome DVDs, whenever Els is finished with them. Nobody flies, but there’s lots of eye candy (it’s an exotic, dirty, Calcutta-inspired Rome), plus the never-ending games of “That didn’t really happen that way, did it??” and “Were there more sex scenes or assassinations?”

    Sadly, Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus never hook up. But that’s what fanfic is for.

  2. By elswhere, November 29, 2007 @ 5:19 pm

    Oh—I think we’re done with them! We were going to go back and watch the commentaries, but I think we probably won’t end up actually doing that.

    I should have you over! Sometime soon! Like, um, well, it should be before January if you’re going to get to actually watch them. (“You” being Rachel, or Liz, either one. Or both of you.) Or, actually, I’m going to synagogue in the synagogue-ish neighborhood this Saturday, and then to a consert-y thing RW’s doing in Yaletown afterwards, and can swing by anywhere near there & bring it to you in person.

    Um. email me?

  3. By Arwen, November 29, 2007 @ 6:49 pm

    I think you overrated the intelligence of people to start with. People aren’t getting stupider: your hopes for humanity were too high. g

  4. By cheesefairy, November 29, 2007 @ 10:09 pm

    In these post-911 times, there can be no competition for the TRUE HEROES OF THE WORLD, therefore your fictional so-called heroes must be sent back to the bin.

    We need clear winners and losers so that we don’t question the war too much, you see. Reality TV gives us that & keeps the “us & them” mentality alive.

    Someday I am going to stay up later than 9 and I am going to drink red wine and I am going to watch terrible TV and get very loud about it and I am inviting everyone over to do it with me. Everyone. The whole world.

  5. By Liz, November 29, 2007 @ 11:53 pm

    Rachel and Els, yes please!

    Arwen, I was afraid of that. My hopes are always too high for humanity. I expect us to be, like, noble or something.

    Cheesefairy, I’ll be there. I’ll even bring the wine.

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