I Never Learn.

So today I was on the bus and I saw a sign in a barbershop/beauty salon that said they did threading. And because I am the kind of person who impulsively does stuff, even if I know it’s going to hurt like the dickens, I thought, “Hey, I could get my lip threaded!” Who knows. Next month I may say to myself, “Hey, I could pull my fingernails out!” It’s weird. I know I’m going to regret it, because it’s going to hurt. But I do it anyway. Well, the threading, anyhow. Because I don’t want someone looking at me in sunlight and seeing a ‘tache. I have my small vanities.

Now, there’s the lip thing, and then there’s the eyebrow thing. I hardly ever let anyone do anything to my eyebrows, because they invariably screw with the natural arch, which I quite like, and try to give me straight line eyebrows. Sometimes they give me little tadpolesque shapes. No one needs that.

But I hopped off the bus and I walked into the place. It was lit with fluorescents and not so attractive. In one corner, two young guys were waiting for haircuts from a grim-faced woman in a brown shalwar kameez. In the other corner was a similarly grim-faced woman, also in brown, but with a flyaway perm-bent over a young woman in a chair. She was the threader and she told me to take a seat.

I waited patiently and when the young woman being threaded sat up, she had gorgeous eyebrows. So I thought, why don’t I get my eyebrows done too? The next woman in line took her place and when she got up, SHE had gorgeous eyebrows. So I was sold on the eyebrows thing.

I took my place in the chair and held the skin over and under my eyebrows, the way the grim-faced woman told me. Hey, I thought. This isn’t so bad. It’s twinge-y, and a little sore, but not bad overall. I hope they look ok.

And then she moved to my lip. Oh. Jesus. Pain. Not as bad as I remembered, but hand-clenchingly, eye-crossingly painful. I was crying. “No crying,” intoned the grim-faced woman. “Okay,” I said. “Okay. Sorry,” and I wiped my eyes. I apologized for crying to the woman who was ripping the hair off my face.

But then I got up and looked in the mirror, and she hadn’t screwed with the shape of my eyebrows! She noticed that one is slightly different from the other and she worked with it! She gave me perfect eyebrows! I almost kissed her grim face!

So if we must suffer to be beautiful, today, I am ready for the cover of a magazine.

4 Comments to “I Never Learn.”

  1. By stephanie, September 15, 2008 @ 8:18 am

    I like threading more than I like waxing, even though they are both equal levels of pain. The waxing does go quicker, but the threading doesn’t leave you swollen and red, unless you are me and go three months in between, causing the woman to say “Your hair is very long.”

    (She’s talking about my facial hair.)

    I am super stoked about your eyebrows. Good eyebrows do a body good.

  2. By rachel, September 15, 2008 @ 8:27 am

    See, with a title like “I never learn” I expected you were going to end up with freaky Igor eyebrows or something. Glad they turned out nice!

  3. By Liz, September 15, 2008 @ 10:08 am

    I think waxing hurts less, Stephanie. At least with the eyebrows. But then, I do the swelling-up-and-getting-red thing, and that happens less with the threading, I’ve found.

    Rachel, the title is misleading. It’s a fact.

  4. By cheesefairy, September 15, 2008 @ 11:59 am

    I am curious about threading. I have many places in my neighbourhood that claim to be THE BEST so will have to give it a shot thanks to your endorsement.

    I am a mite scared of the “no crying” thing. It makes me think of spy movies.

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