New Jeans.

I do not like shopping for jeans.  It highlights my body flaws and the fact that there’s not a lot to play up. I have the low, flat butt bequeathed to me by my Scottish Presbyterian ancestresses. I no longer have an enviably slim waist. What I do have is good legs, and so I struggle to show them off while doing the best I can for my butt and waist.

So I tried on about thirty seven pairs, narrowing it down as I went, taking pairs I’d tried on and liked into the dressing room with more untried pairs.

“I can put them over there for you,” said the friendly salesgirl.

“Oh, thanks,” I said.”I want to keep them to compare. And, you know, look at my butt.”

She laughed. “That’s important. Oh, and Steff’s back there. She’ll give you an honest opinion. On your butt, I mean.”  Good to know.

So the Laguna Beach Ultra Low Rise? No.

The ones with PVC-esque stripes on the sides? Why, no,

The ones with lightning bolts on the back pockets? Erm. No.

But I did find a pair of black pants with some sequins on the back pockets. Black sequins. If feedback tells me these are wrong for me, I will act accordingly (IE, tell you you are wrong). The sequins make my butt look good, I swear. Oh, and also one plain pair of snug-fitting jeans. Nothing too extreme. Just…nice.

And both were on sale for $20. Score!

2 Comments to “New Jeans.”

  1. By cheesefairy, February 5, 2009 @ 3:27 pm

    I have the same butt.

    I recently discovered a secret that I might have learned years ago if I read chick magazines. The placement of the back pockets is key to butt enhancement. The problem with higher waisted jeans is that the back pockets are placed higher, making it look like your butt itself has slipped down, hence, the mom jean look.

    the key is low rise that isn’t TOO low rise with pockets placed as low on your butt as possible.

    signed: Justice McMullen
    (that’s my captcha and I am adopting it as alter-ego)

  2. By Liz, February 5, 2009 @ 8:31 pm

    Hunh. Thanks for that. You know, that’s something I probably knew at one time when I read those magazines. Like, 20 years ago. But now that they enrage me? I miss out on valuable information.

    Justice McMullen is a fabulous alter-ego.

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