MonkeyPants

Saskatchewan Christmas.

E booked the tickets. We’re going.

If I were a rabid control freak, I would be concerned about gifts and baking and blah blah blah, but in my new go-with-the-flowiness, I just ain’t going to bother. I’ll bring a dozen mince tarts or something and concentrate on staying warm.

I’m going to have to completely rethink how I live my life. As it is, I frequently wander outside in slip-on shoes to plan my garden or get the mail, or pet a friendly dog, or look more closely at a bird I don’t recognise. Sure, I close the door in the rainy months, but it’s no big thing. Sometimes if it’s raining hard, I’ll put something on my head. Sometimes this is a hat. Sometimes it isn’t. Since I pretty much live in a sweater and jeans in the months when I’m not wearing a t-shirt and jeans, I stick a coat on when I go to work because I know it’ll be colder when I’m coming home. That’s pretty much it.

I open the bedroom window every day to air it out.

This Christmas, I’ll be spending a week in a sealed house. If I go outside, I will need a toque, sweater, coat, mittens, boots, warm socks, and a scarf. I’ll probably need thermal underwear. Inside, I’ll need slippers. Hey, maybe I should get one of those things Laura Ingalls had in Little Town on the Prairie. You remember, the illustration by Garth Williams, where Almanzo’s bringing her home for the weekend and she has that thing swathing her head that looks like a big onion? Maybe I need that.

I’ll probably need some kind of ultra strength face cream. Hell, if it drops below zero here, I need a pretty strong one. My face might just shrivel up and fall off in Regina! How’s that, friends? New, Faceless Liz, back for ‘06!

E says we can go sledding. Who is he kidding? It’s flat there!

We will probably go to restaurants. The Regina restaurant scene has just discovered fusion food, and E’s mom loves it. She does yoga (without the aid of Lululemon, who’da thunk it?), so I’m going to get her to teach me some.

And of course, they have cable. I’ll be watching Food Network and Discovery Channel.

I’m 33 years old. I’m going to have a familiar-tradition-free Christmas for the first time in my life.