MonkeyPants

“Light” Cheese.

I have finally found a kind of cheese I don’t like.

It is ‘light’ cheddar, and it tastes of ass. Unholy ass. Ass of the very assiest nature of ass. Ass that has been farted on by cows, type of ass.

I bought it by accident. E tried to put some in a sandwich and said it tasted funny, so we examined the package, and, lo, I had committed the heinous act of buying light cheese.

This morning, I figured it would be fine melted.

Ha Ha! Joke’s on me! It melts the same way plastic does, becoming all puckered, with an unhealthy sheen. Quite frankly, I’m afraid to eat any more of it, but can’t think of what else to do with it. Doorstop? Stepping stool? Bookend?