MonkeyPants

Friday Confessions.

Hello. It’s been a week. Yes, it has.

I kind of resent the people who moved in upstairs. They spend a lot of time on the back porch (who wouldn’t, it’s gorgeous!) but now I sort of feel that my private haven of gnomes and weeds has overseers.

I have been watching a lot of crap tv. And you know what? That is its own punishment. Last night I watched some show about some Bridezilla who was the whiniest, most obsessive, spendthrift, irrational bitch I have ever seen. If I were her guy, I would have dumped her. If I were a friend of his, I would have roofie’d him and left him in the changing room at a strip club, just to ensure that he left the bitch. She wanted a signature drink for her wedding fer chrissakes! Her tiara cost more than 500 bucks! This show gave me heartburn, so I changed over to CSI.

Also, yesterday on the bus, I almost threw up on the woman in the seat next to me. She was carrying a banana skin and chatting on her phone. Yeah. it was hot yesterday. And the banana’s sickly sweet stench assaulted my nostrils such that I really almost hurled on a total stranger. Besides, with garbage cans at every bus stop, what was she doing carrying a banana skin around?

Harumph. Over to you.