Crows.

“How come there’s nothing on the Internet about training crows?” I asked E the other night.
He looked over at me. “...train crows?”
“Yeah. To, you know, do stuff. They’re smart.”

He had no answer.

I did find the video of the guy who made the crow vending machine, but how about just training them not to be alarmed when I walk past. I pose no threat, crows. I’m going to the bus. I’m going to the store. I’m going to a car. I am not out to hurt you.

The thing is, it’s doable. Corvids are smart. Crows talk to one another. They communicate learned knowledge to each other and down the generations. They have that massive crow meet out at the McDonald’s head office near Willingdon every night, with acres of grass covered in crows.

There’s got to be some way to train them. Just because. I mean, how cool? Or maybe I should just build a crow vending machine in the backyard and rake in other people’s lost change.

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