The Season.

I thought I was avoiding Holiday Mood Disorder but it turns out I was just in denial.

I’ve pared down Christmas prep to the minimum this year. I can’t pack my traditions in my carry-on and head to Regina, so I’m just going to gently let them be. Christmas 2010 will just be what it is. But I am going to post a Regina Review. I can’t not review.

At first I blamed welling up in tears ten times a day on the fact that it has been a hard week for me. But then I realized that I wasn’t just upset about the hard week. I’m also crying at:

Beautiful photographs my friends post on Flickr

The thought of growing to hate car jockeying, as I lose more and more freedom to do it my way

E’s brother’s astonishing self-absorption and how sad it makes E

Pictures of kittens on the Internet

My students who are decamping for Korea

I’m not going to put myself deep in debt for Christmas. Call that my gift to myself. But can I think of what to get E? No! Bo? No!

It seems I can save myself the debt, but still feel I’m falling flat on my own expectations of myself. I don’t know how to change that.

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