Putting The Fun Back In Funeral.

Yes, I went to another funeral this weekend. My uncle died on December 30. So yesterday the family trekked to Nanaimo and said our goodbyes. In some ways, it was a nice service. It was retty well attended, and some nice things were said about my uncle. However, in some ways, it was not so much to my taste.

I have more notes for my own funeral.

No one is allowed to stand up there and explain bible quotations. Dude, it’s “To every thing there is a season.” I get it, okay?

People may make speeches praising me, but they are not allowed to exceed two minutes in length, each. No boring windbags, no elaborate setups for weak jokes, and, for God’s sake, no getting the names of my relatives wrong, or mispronouncing my own name. Sheesh.

No bagpipes inside smallish spaces. The bagpipes were an instrument created to strike fear into the hearts of seasoned warriors. Do not assault the ears of the mourners by playing the pipes in a small chapel where the sound cannot escape. Too scary.

No ugly flower arrangements. Yellow marguerite daisies, orange gerberas, red carnations and a few irises for height? Are you high? I’m dead, but I haven’t lost my aesthetic sense!

However, you may all wear outlandish hats, should you choose.

2 Comments to “Putting The Fun Back In Funeral.”

  1. By Arwen, February 19, 2007 @ 12:09 am

    Can I get hats with gerberas and irises on it?

  2. By Liz, February 19, 2007 @ 2:17 am

    Of course you can. Just make sure that they complement each other. For details, do NOT see the florist who put together the displays at my uncle’s service.

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