Gecko Bloggle

During a conversation with a friend, and completely off-topic, might I add, the word “phallic” bounced around in my head, and I realized that there wasn’t a corresponding female version of the term.

But while searching for similarly-created words, I ran across this Word, to go with this Ad (see picture below)…

Way to go, Google…

If, however, you’re actually wondering the very same thing now, you *might* wanna read this, just ’cause it’s sorta interesting… (Warning, probably Not Safe For Work).

I’ll have to see if I can find the video I’m talking out in this repost from our YahooGroup in December of 2001…
[Edit: Yep. Here it is.� Requires IE, or at least something more like IE than Firefox.]

Hebbo one and all.

Okay, maybe Frank didn’t like this, but I thought it was hilarious. Ten minutes of solid marketing spew, most likely designed by people who can’t use the photocopier down the hall, and have blown up entire lunch-rooms trying to make coffee in the toaster oven.

But what do I know? I’m from Chilliwack. When you’ve been starin’ at corn for twelve years, just about everything’s funny. Except for the last 1/2 hour of SNL.

Oh yeah, the PR thing.

I’d like to see a “Part II” of this marketing thing (or maybe just a re-edit) with the Masai guy hucking a spear through the tree-powered display screen and having the yuppies in the sushi bar gettin’ kabobbed.

It was like all of the “future tech” junk in every Arnold Ham’n’egger film from Terminator through Sixth Day being spliced into a 10-minute PR bomb. Here’s what the future looks like! Don’t need it? Didn’t want it? Never use it in a million years? We’ve got it! (Maybe. After Sony makes one. It’s our idea though.)

Finally: glass doors I can walk *through* without them having to open, or maybe they were just logo-displaying goo, or soap bubbles. Either way, how do you know which ones you’re allowed to walk through? “And if you’ll follow me, over here we have the g-*BANG!* Oh! I ting I bwoke by doze!”

And another thing: Where’d the mice go? Apparently, LG doesn’t make mice. Maybe they make invisible mice that look like cheese sandwiches, ’cause that’s so futuristic.

They do, however appear to make games that have the following handy-dandy keyboard controls:

ASDF – (turn left, in varying degrees)
JKL; – (turn right, in varying degrees)
Spacebar – Lose suddenly, without reason.
Shift-Spacebar – Win suddenly, without reason.
Ctrl-Alt-Space-Underscore-Backspace – Cause hunks of raw perch to spew out of a tree somewhere in Uganda.

I don’t wanna think about what this “game” would look like.

Maybe it’s called “Wobbly Jello Bike Passenger Shake Off Panic” or something. In Japan, it’ll be known simply as “Pocky Game for Short Men,” and become a HUGE hit, just to confuse marketing people in the West.

Oh yeah, with the even *more* handy-dandy auto-gloat-cam, built right into the game console.

Oh yeah, and another *other* thing: If I’m playing a game against some poor schmo on another continent, and my mom’s face pops up in the middle of the game to talk to me, do I get to yell at my mom for seriously hampering my ping time? If I get gibbed ’cause some telemarketer really really REALLY wants to sell me a subscription to TheProvince.Com, I’m gonna send ’em some cat sand in my snazzy new FAXeleporter.

And what was up with that guy hugging the kid on the stoop in GenericThirdWorldica? Get OFF me, ya weirdo. No I *don’t* wanna look at what your watch can do. No I don’t wanna talk to your plastic daughter. I’m hungry, give me your freeze-dried perch-on-a-spear-flavoured PowerBar, or I’m gonna pour hot coffee into your watch and scald your mother-in-law.

All walls everywhere are uniformly white and light up. How convenient. Thank goodness there’s no messy windows or art or doors anywhere. Simplifies interior decoration quite a bit, doesn’t it? What does Feng Shui have to say about this?

Let’s hear it for LG for thinking up a stainless steel bubble that attached to a pole like some sorta fireman’s speed-bump thing, and it holds everything you’d want in a kitchen, as long as everything you want in a kitchen consists of a single bottle of Extra Virgin Olive Oil.

Maybe some time in the future, I’ll be running around with a wet towel wrapped around my head, and I’ll need something self-guiding that I can stick up my nose to get the tracking unit out, and LG will be there.

Or maybe I’ll just end up poking my brains out with it the nose-track-unit-remover ’cause LG had to put a fifteen-foot antennae on the end of it so my financial advisor could interrupt me in the middle of the procedure to tell me I need broken nose insurance.

Thanks Sean,
I needed that.

Zen (I don’t need a picture frame that’s *actually* a two way camera next to MY bed) Render

I have no excuse for this, other than me playing with Newpaper Snippet Generator, and making myself laugh.

Hegolee-Sheggitt…

http://www.ep.tc/stopthemadness/

MUSIC (in order of appearance)
New Edition – Steve Arrington – Tim Feehan – Whitney Houston
Jon Burford – LaToya Jackson – Kimaya Koepke – Herb Alpert
Linda Stokes and Jackie Ball (of Magic Lady) – Steve Arrington
Toni Basil – Tim Feehan – Tata Vega – Andre and Sandra Crouch

and Introducing (in her First Rock Video)
First Lady Nancy Reagan

VIDEO Special Guest Appearances
Lyle Alzado – Kim Fields – David Hasselhoff – Kareem Abdul Jabbar
Casey Kasem – Stacey Keach – David Kieth – Michele Lee
Daphne Maxwell – John Matuzak – Gerald McRaney
Jameson Parker – Nancy Reagan – Tim Reid – Arnold Schwarzeneggar
and the Goodyear Blimp

STARRING
Claudia Wells
and Michael “Boogaloo Shrimp” Chambers (aka Turbo from Breakin’)

http://www.ep.tc/stopthemadness/

Last night, I had a collection of bad dreams, but I’m only really aware of two. The first one is gone in that fog of sleep that happens, but the second is sorta interesting.

I was getting onto a plane (at least the building I was in was very similar to an airport, with escalators, and lots of people coming and going), and had someone who reminded me of John Candy leading the way, and it was all somewhat rushed, like he was helping me get where I was going before time ran out. I was taking an escalator down, and then was placed into a capsule that was vaguely tube-shaped. Little windows at the top, and metal bars and framework around me. There was a sense of a countdown, and exhiliration of takeoff, but then something went wrong.

The tube was filling extremely quickly with water. Clear and clean, and fairly warm, but choking nonetheless. I couldn’t move, and couldn’t get myself out of the canister I was in, but wasn’t really able to do much but kick feebly at the edges of the tube, hoping that someone could hear me, or do something to get me out. The air in my lungs exploded out of me in a cough, and I felt the compression of claustrophobia in my chest. I sucked in water, and felt it burn my nose, and kept kicking… and kicking… I was heartbroken, I was dying, and couldn’t do anything about it. There was no panic any more, just futility, and loss.

I woke, and while I couldn’t move (what’s that chemical that we release into our muscles that keeps us from running around in our sleep?), I gasped in air, and then lay there panting, my head pounding and my heart bashing my ribcage as I lay on my still-numb hands.

I looked around a little, and realized that Tate was in the bed, but the soft (foamy, sorta rigid) pillow was over his head. I yanked it back and threw it almost off the foot of the bed, and then watched him closely in the dim light to make sure he was breathing. He was lying on his back, his head was turned to the side, away from me, and yes, he was breathing. He obviously hadn’t been bothered by the pillow at all. At least, he didn’t appear to be distressed in any way.

So why did I dream of drowning? Did my six-month-old son send the sensation of smothering to me for long enough to wake me to get the pillow off his head?

Or what?

That stuff aside, I’ve been feeling the hangover from dying today, and it still hurts. I’m still sad about it.

Is it just me or is the “USB Memory Drive In A {fill in the blank}” phenomenon getting a little old?

Seriously: $41.77 (plus shipping for another $14) for A 128MB USB Memory Drive in A Plush Crocodile

I could probably buy a small stuffed crocodile for about $4.00, and cram a $20 dollar USB drive down its throat.

I have no problem with the USB drives that look like other things (like Swiss Army Knives, or Watches), but c’mon.

I have a feeling the Beanie Babies folks are behind this, somehow.

Let’s start at the beginning of this week:

Monday night.

Mad Professor with Aisha at Richard’s on Richards, 8pm.
I thought I was going to an “early/short” show (Doors at 8? Who goes to a club on a Monday at 8pm?) and turned out that I was going to a “full meal deal” with that started at 10:30 on the dot. Wandered around outside for a bit, watched two young guys smoke pot (doesn’t matter how far away you get from other people, if you’re tokin’ people a block away know about it), and talked to the second person in the “will call” line (an Asian lady with one of those little wool toques that makes me think about how itchy/sweaty wool would be on my scalp) who had an Australian accent and…

…wrap your head around that for a minute…
Click here to read more.. »

Maybe next time I’m about to throw away some little piece of broken hardware, I’ll start sticking it to other broken bits, and make some of these little robot doohickey things.

Dylan Tinlun Chan is a genius, of sorts (and bit and pieces).

Very very cool, and unlike so many of the other do it yourself sites (like Hack-A-Day), this stuff looks like it could be made by non garage-full-of-ex-military-hardware types.

Like me.

Over at Toren’s blog, he’s talking about Predator and this thing octopi can do.

Go here to see why you’ll never see ME swimming around in no scuba suit…
(Warning: Video Clip of non-dialup-friendly size)…