Gecko Bloggle

This was in response to a friend’s question about whether or not they were depressed (or just having a hard time, what?).

Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I’m hearing ya. I was going to suggest (again) that you apply here at Mole Hill (They have “market” and “assisted” pricing for a suite in one of these heritage homes, and having a friend who’s already “in” really helps. Oh, and did I mention that a single parent with a child gets a two-bedroom, according to the rules?) but then you mentioned in that you can’t move away from E’s preschool and N’s parents.

I think it’s totally valid that you’re depressed, and feeling like it’s really freakin’ hard to clean the house (or get outta bed in the morning). Know what? It is.

The fact that you *do* do these things so often, and yet still have time to be interested and engaged in life (and love) in any capacity speaks volumes toward your ability to overcome what life keeps throwing at you. (know what else? life keeps taking a pee in your turtle pool, too)

I don’t think I’m talking out my butt when I say that everyone reading your post is trying to figure out how they can help in some way or another. Not just go “ra-ra” from the sidelines, but actually get in there and kick the ball too (or at least submarine a defensive player or two). Make sure you let us know when there’s things you could use. Don’t let yourself think for a moment that any one of us wouldn’t jump at the chance to do something to help out.

When A went through a period of feeling completely overwhelmed, and feeling like she was just having it all be too much, I got out a piece of paper and started doing “Good/Bad” lists with her. All the basics were there: Time, Money, Kids, Cleaning, Shopping, Friends, Work, Family, etc, and it was pretty easy to figure out what kinds of things went into each column, but the simple act of writing all that shit DOWN made her realise that she wasn’t being unreasonable about feeling overwhelmed.

Her life *was* overwhelming.

Still is.

But I’ll be damned if writing some of that shit down didn’t help her to see that it was okay to feel overwhelmed.

The Super-Soccer Moms out there who work full time *and* clean the house *and* have dinner parties *and* take pole-dancing classes in their spare time (what spare time) are all (I’m pretty sure) faking the funk somewhere in their life. I could be wrong, they might all be just idiotically energetic and overly-healthy people who also like to build cars out of macrame in their spare time. I doubt it though. I’m thinking a lot of them step out of their Escalade in the underground parking and wrangle their $800 stroller into the elevator of their highrise and think “Holy Mother of JEEBUS do I need a drink.”

…and the next morning, they shit on the little club kid at Starbucks who forgot to put CAROB sprinkles on their extra-non-low-whip-spang-enfeebled-mocha-chip-a-crack-a-freakin’-ccino, instead of chocolate.

So… yeah. Life’s hard. Need help?

“A” says that depression *is* picking on yourself and doubting your own abilities. It’s a cycle: You feel bad about feeling bad which makes you feel bad…

She also says there’s a book called “Feeling Good,” that totally helped her. I’ll pray to the bookcase gods and see if it falls on my head, and send it your way.