Gecko Bloggle

So, they (NCBuy) are once again saying that nice guys never get laid.

and yet, the Heartless Bitches site has this to say about that.

Found this in the comments for the Slashdot story about SHA-0 Broken

Yep — that’s right. I’m not a crypto expert. Hell — I’m a layman compared to most /.’ers, and my user number proves it (all 7 embarrassing digits of it). But I do know this — if Slashdot crypto geeks are concerned about it, then we’ve reached the point of…

CARRYING A MIDGET AROUND.

Yes, it’s true. Every person with encrypted data on Earth will soon have to carry around a Level 10 Anthromorphic Hexidecimal Midget Encryption System. Or “Midget Key” for short. The midget will become part of every computer purchase where the user requires high encryption, secured communications, etc. Families without sufficient room to accommodate and feed the midget will have to run computers with the old and vulnerable encryption technologies.

Meanwhile, those of us with a Midget Key will need to have his/her encryption midget with us at all times. The midget will encrypt data locally by locking a portable hard drive to his/her wrist and preventing anyone OTHER THAN THE OWNER of said local data from accessing it again. To facilitate this local midget encryption, each encryption midget will be equipped with:

– body armor
– handgun
– lightweight sub-machine gun
– tactical nuclear or convential explosive self destruct device

Addtionally, each encryption midget will be required to communicate with all other encryption midgets around the world using special genetically encoded phones that cannot be replicated outside of the midget gene pool. The phone will be surgically embedded in the arm of each encryption midget and require a drop of said midget’s body temperature saliva to activate the phone (a.k.a. spit on the arm to make the call).

Why encryption midgets? They’re:

– portable
– eat less than an encryption giant and/or an encryption obese person
– tough as nails

Why tough as nails? If you’ve watched The Amazing Race at all this season on CBS, you have witnessed a midget drag her whiney, lazy cousin around the world. She has become the envy of other teams featuring health nuts, ex-Marines, and super-Christians. Who wouldn’t entrust their data with a badass little person that can grab a live electrified cattle fence somewhere in South America, cuss about it, and STILL manage to continue the race?

Get me THAT encryption midget, and you’ll never get a hold of MY data!

IronChefMorimoto

[Note — if the midget from the show mentioned above has been eliminated from said show, then our data is doomed. I’ve missed the last several episodes, so all may be lost.]

Found this circa Sept ’02, around the time we got our copy of “Letters from a Nut“:

Your request has been received by one of our Customer Service Representatives.
We will provide you with a response as soon as possible.
Thank you for choosing Shaw!

Here is a copy of the request you submitted:

Funny, she doesn’t appear to have had any kinda reply back from Shaw…

GI Joe Clips from the folks what made em.

That is all.

Okay, so I Google up “Duck tshirt” for Clara, and here’s the #2 link:

http://hotpink.shag-a-delic.net/index2.html

Give it a few seconds if you’re on dialup.

I had my speakers turned up a little cuz I was previewing the Sun Tzu Art of War audiobook for a minute there.

Sometimes I think Google’s just messing with us.

Is this the sort of thing you wanna see every day on your way to work for the largest video game producer in the WORLD?

I know, I know. It’s not our fault. The city’s on a bender about these goofy art-auction whales all over the place. It’s not just that we have one, but that we have this one.

Big blue weather balloon with a “No – EA” logo on it (it was stolen from our parking lot at BC Place when we had our family day, altered, and then hung from a light post outside the 250 Howe location) is outside our door for about two hours before it gets yanked, but hyper-happy Retardo Mantoban WHALE can be there all summer.

*sigh*

Couldn’t we have at least gotten a COOL one?

A – Act your age? Shit, I hope not.
B – Born on what day of the week? Wednesday
C – Chore you hate? Dishes right *before* I start on ’em.
D – Disney character? Rafiki from Lion King (“Why’d you hit me?” “Doesn’t matter, it’s in the past!”)
E – Essential makeup item(s)? A woman who wants to put it on. ‘Cept for my Braveheart Hallowe’en makeup, that kicked ASS.
F – Favorite actor? Jeanine Garafalo: she could read from the phone book and I’d watch. The Cusacks sibs and Walken triple-tie for second.
G – Gold or silver? Gold. I like the look of silver, but prefer the weight of gold.
H – Hometown? Chilliwack. Gee-cri…
I – Instruments you play? Ukulele (no, really), and an assortment of digital audio apps. I call ’em “Burntables.”
J – Jumped off a plane? Not one that was moving at the time.
K – Kids? Yep. One. Kickass!
L – Last dental appointment? All four “difficult access” wisdom teeth. Knocked me out for it. Nothing interesting since (that was a year ago).
M – Make-up brand? Uh….
N – Number of people you’ve slept with? Um, 13, I think.
O – Overnight hospital stays? About three (hernia as a wee one, mono at 9, birth of Ripley)
P – Phobia? A new one: those giant fucking spider crab things they’re finding in Iraq. I mean, JESUS!
Q – Quote you like? The entire spoken word piece “Religion” by Lord Buckley. That, and “You can’t go… all the plants are gonna die!” by Bill Murray. I was going to say: “Writing about art is like dancing about architecture,” by Steve Martin but then I couldn’t remember how to spell architecture, choked, and deleted it.
R – Religious affiliation? I’m no affiliate. Maybe a repeater station.
S – Siblings? One Half-Bro. I’ve got a whole freakin’ *shrub* of steps.
T – Type of music? A lot of stuff I like, and a lot I don’t. Try me. Gotta be able to move to it, at least in my head.
U – Understand college physics? Are they different from physics elsewhere?
V – Vegetable you refuse to eat? Raw onions.
W – Worst food? Liver. Uni (sea urchin naughty bits in the alleged form of sushi).
X – X-rays you’ve had? Wrap-around lower jaw (to find that – oh JOY – all four wisdom teeth were 90⁰ impacted.)
Y – Yummy food you make? French toast & steak (no, not at the same time)
Z – Zodiac Sign? Aquarian. Like most of my friends, go fig.

Pam had this on her site, but I found it by way of Tang’s

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

“An old fashioned envelope with a glassine window, through which he could glimpse the face of a twenty-dollar bill — that was from Mrs. Grose, who always gave the money she’d earned from readings (and then retrieved it at the end of the summer).”

From Last Summer At Mars Hill, which I bought purely because of the title, with the namesake of a surrealist BBS I used to hang out at/in/on. now I wonder if the board was after the commune, or the other way around.

Niftie.

Which is not to say that I don’t have any religion, ’cause I do.

More on that some other time. For now, sleep…

Okay, I’ve figured it out.

If you know me fairly well at all, you know that I have (what I’ve always thought was) this totally irrational hate-on for Kirk Cameron. Ever since he was in that stupid show, Growing Pains, I’ve thought that there was something somehow inherently evil about the guy. Don’t know when I started thinking that, but it was early on. I’m sure sharing satellite space with Alan Thicke didn’t help his case any, but there’s something I ran across today (thanks to the good folks at Cruel.com), I think maybe there’s more to it. More than just the totally irrational “if I ever meet him I wanna punch him” gut-level reaction I have.

Let me explain, sorta kinda.

I’ve got what doctors call a “deep focus in the temporal lobe” also known as temporal lobe epilepsy. Hasn’t done anything negative to me since I was a really really little dude. Back then (around the age of two), I could/would have seizures if I had a particularly bad wipe-out and smacked my head. Since then, I’ve had migraines and things over the years (most of which went away after the age of about 20), but here’s the thing:

People with TLE are often obsessed with religious images and rhetoric.

Probably something to do with the whole idea of feeling like there’s some sort of greater purpose. For a lot of folks with TLE, it becomes religious zealotry. I seem to have the exact opposite: zealous non-religion, based on what I’ve seen “good church-going folks” do and say during my years of growing up in Chilliwack, British Columbia’s Bible Belt.

Don’t get me started on that place… woof-o…

Okay, so back to Cruel.com’s link to this site with Kirk. Here’s the thing:

He’s now the lead running a very slickly-produced “you’re going straight to hell” site.

The Way Of the Master

So, I wonder if I’m not feeling like there’s not some sort of something going on, and that maybe Kirk’s going to end up being the evil dictator of Texas or something.

Me and Joan of Arc

What I wanna know is this: Does Saint Aardvark also have TLE, and maybe that’s why he’s the kinda guy that collects religious tracts from car windows and stuff?